A relationship goes through countless challenges and is constantly tested. That’s why, when a couple decides to spend the rest of their lives together, it means they’ve overcome all the difficulties and obstacles that have come their way… at least until they have children! Then, their relationship changes drastically and is tested ten times more than before. That’s when they’ll show if they can endure. A mom shares how her relationship with her husband changed after they had their son and how lucky she feels for discovering something: that her husband turned out to be an even better person after becoming a father!
“I wonder if marriage counselors ask couples preparing to become parents the following questions:
How would you feel if you had to help your wife/husband clean up the baby’s vomit at 3 a.m.?
Or if you had to handle your child’s sudden tantrum in public? Would you have the patience to decide together how to react?
Nothing else can ‘test’ a relationship more than children. Nothing.
You think you know your partner when you decide to marry them. But it’s in the moments when you’re both exhausted, when you’ve reached your limits, when you have to make countless decisions about raising your children, and yet still need to keep each other happy, that you truly see who you’ve married.
Once the ‘mystery’ of love fades, after the honeymoon is over, and the children come, that’s when the truth is revealed!
Before having kids, my husband and I were more relaxed, more social, and rarely nervous. Now, we have no idea what we used to do before becoming parents. We now have much more patience for everything, but we didn’t get here the easy way.
I’ll never forget those first days when I returned to work after maternity leave. My son was 4 months old, and it was incredibly hard to leave him every day. Since I couldn’t be sure I’d be home to put him to bed, I had to stop nursing him at night early on.
I started using a breast pump a few weeks before returning to work, and my husband took over bedtime. I waited, heartbroken, in the next room, trying not to intervene.
It was a complete disaster.
Our son cried constantly. For hours. My husband tried feeding him, rocking him, soothing him in his car seat, swaddling him in his crib, and even taking him for drives until he finally fell asleep. But as soon as they got back home, the same process started all over again.
Our baby was used to me putting him to bed every night, falling asleep in my arms, and no matter how hard my husband tried, he wasn’t me!
I watched his efforts in shock. I couldn’t bear hearing our son cry, yet I admired my husband for trying so hard every night, despite the rejection from our baby. He kept trying, always tender and caring. Every day, he mentally prepared for the tough night ahead and never gave up.
I remember one night when he told me how exhausted he was from our baby’s refusal to accept him, and nothing seemed to work. It was so difficult for him, but I told him I admired how gentle he was, especially given the circumstances, and I regretted not preparing us earlier for this change.
As time went on, and I was almost ready to quit my job, worry about our family’s finances later, and stay home, things got better. It wasn’t easy, but my husband found his way and learned how to handle the situation. And in the following days, I left for work knowing everything would be okay.
Later, they became ‘best friends,’ and my husband realized that babies are like fascinating places you have to explore.
All he wanted was for our son to be happy. He bought him new toys, expanded his library, and got him a play tool bench.
Sometimes, beneath a tough, strong exterior lies the most tender and sweet side. I knew my husband was like that, but when we became parents, I understood it so much more.
All parents lose their minds at some point with the fast pace of children and household responsibilities, and we’re no exception. But when I remember all we’ve been through together, the one thing that sticks with me is how strong my husband was and how he managed to stay by my side through both the bad and good times. He was always there to help when the kids were sick, to clean up their vomit and potty messes, and to show his love even during the toughest moments. I’m grateful that I now truly know the man I married!”
Source: babble.com, mama365
